Signs & portents: January 2014 – Taurus

20 April – 20 May

MEN

After your rather bizarre Christmas a further deeply religious experience awaits you in January, say the fates, when you are abandoned by your friends & colleagues, persecuted by the authorities & ultimately nailed to a tree.

WOMEN

Time to relax a little in January, advise the fates, when it becomes clear from the increased police activity out in the street, that your chance of progressing further up the rankings of female serial killers is limited.

WIT & WISDOM

Just because they have not found the body yet, it doesn’t mean it’s a victimless crime.

Death: nature’s way of telling you that you’ve been overdoing things….

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