Dear Agony Aunts
In recent months I have been enjoying the attentions of a “peeping tom” who spends much of the evening staring into my windows from the bushes on the other side of the street.
I’ve never actually seen what he looks like but I have quite enjoyed putting on a bit of a show for him each evening & I’d quite like to meet him. I’m 59 & have been widowed for over 15 years, during which time romance has played little part in my life.
Do you think I am being silly to be looking for a little more excitement in my love life?
We’re afraid that you are being both a bit silly & possibly taking quite a risk. What if your “peeping tom” is some sort of psychopath – let’s face it he’s taking shyness & curiosity to unusual lengths?
We’d strongly advise that if you do decide to go ahead & make contact with him that you take a few basic precautions. It’s likely that you’ll have to actually have to approach him in the evening – which means crossing the street & entering the bushes, all in the dark & on your own. To make this a little safer we suggest that you carry some form of self-defence; ideally something effective but quiet (you don’t want to disturb the neighbours) & which can be used to overpower him. Our weapon of choice in these circumstances is always a powerful electric cattle-prod – more effective than a Taser, & less likely to cause you problems with the police.
Once you’ve actually met him (or, of course, her) you can use the ‘prod to discourage further intimacies or to render him unconscious while you drag him across the street & indoors.