Dear Agony Aunts
I have recently become engaged to a woman a little older than myself but with whom I have much in common & of whom I am very fond. She is suggesting that we marry as quickly as possible & that I should formally adopt her 4 children by her first husband. He is currently in custody for an armed raid on a security firm at which a large sum of cash was taken & which has not yet been recovered; & she is keen that we should marry before his trial starts, even though her divorce is not yet through.
The thing is that my Dad, who is an High Court judge, will go ballistic when he finds out – & that’s nothing to what my Mum will say! Do you think I should get married in secret & not tell them until after my exams or do you think I should wait until after my 16th birthday in August?
We think that perhaps you are a little young to be contemplating so many changes & it might be better to spend a little more time worrying about your exams.
It is clear that there is much you can bring to a relationship with your “older woman” & her children, indeed it seems likely that you might even have something to offer her present husband. We think that perhaps you should arrange a meeting between her & your father so that they can clear the air (ideally after some sort of secret wedding ceremony). We’re sure that your father will be only too happy to offer her the hand of friendship & perhaps even extend that hand to her current spouse, in order to make sure that the rest of your teenage years are not blighted by unhappy family differences & arguments.
Good luck with your exams.