Dear Agony Aunts
I have always tried to be a good wife & mother but after 20 years as the former & 15 as the latter I now realise that I have been wasting my time. My husband is a lazy, idle slob who is only interested in beer, betting & busty blonde barmaids, whilst our only son, Kevin, is a certifiable moron with the sort of personality that is better suited to a wax mannequin.
Frankly I’d leave tomorrow if it weren’t for the fact that I haven’t the cash. I know that normally you are able to suggest something involving insurance payouts but I’m afraid that neither my husband nor my son are in fact insurable & so there’s no cash to be had that way.
You do have a problem & no mistake! It’s easy enough to arrange to get rid of the encumbrances but without some sort of compensation things look a little bleak for the future.
We’ve done a bit of research on the internet & we think that your best solution is to approach one of the unlicensed transplant clinics operating in India or the Philippines. If you can convince them that your two “assets” are worth harvesting they will take care of any unpleasant pre-op procedures at no risk or cost to yourself. Even if they’re in poor condition your loved-ones should generate around €85,000 each which will provide you with a small financial cushion until you find your feet (or feet attached to someone available & solvent).
We’ve e-mailed you a couple of contact details & please do let us know how you get on.