Dear Agony Aunts
For International Women’s Day this year I bought my wife a new ironing board & I bought my teenage daughter a new Barbie doll (she always loved them so much when she was little). Needless to say this generosity on my part was met with what I can only call sarcasm from my wife & outright “cheek” from my daughter; this in spite of my spending a significant part of my “beer money” on the two ungrateful little madams!
Don’t you agree that modern women are completely out of control? In my grandfather’s day they would have been horse-whipped around the village!
What is wrong with these self-centred hussies that they cannot even show simple appreciation for a carefully thought-out gift?
“Traditional Values (Mr.)”
Dear “Traditional Values”
We’re not so sure that out-of-control is exactly a fair description of your wife & daughter since you clearly have sufficient use of your limbs remaining to send us your carefully & cogently argued e-mail (& we assume your grandfather died in suspicious circumstances, which raises a number of issues that you might wish to consider).
Generally we consider that the main problem that modern women suffer from is men & if you wish your wife & daughter to really show some appreciation (simple or otherwise) get them to drop us a line – we are sure we can suggest any number of amusing & interesting ideas for them to repay your thoughtfulness.