Signs & portents: April 2014 – Taurus

20 April – 20 May


In view of your long-held fears about being buried alive, say the fates, April is going to be an enormous relief to you when you are inadvertently processed by the local crematorium whilst looking for a gas leak.


Try to think of April as some sort of dress rehearsal, advise the fates, who add that things will probably actually be better on the night.


What exactly is the function of “flannelette”?

Death: nature’s way of telling you that you’ve been overdoing things….