Signs & portents: May 2014 – Aries

21 March – 19 April


The fates predict a bumper May for you but suggest that the rest of the bodywork will be largely undamaged.


In May, say the fates, you will receive a mysterious invitation to participate in a scheme to recover a huge fortune long believed lost in a Nigerian government bank account. They suggest that passing-on your bank & social security details is probably not a good idea.


What do poultry farmers eat for Christmas?

For a better horoscope try a higher-denomination coin next time.