Dear Agony Aunts
I was troubled to discover that my fiancé had been married before but I believed him when he said that he would have told me before we got married but was waiting for the right time. I was upset when I later found out that he had five children but I forgave him after he explained that he was just waiting for the right time to introduce me to them.
After the revelation of his two little “secrets” I thought that it would be plain sailing to the wedding but last night I was furious to learn, from a friend, that the wedding is in fact “off”. When I confronted him, he said that he had intended to tell me, but at the right time.
I think that he has just been using me & I am appalled that a Roman Catholic cardinal could behave like this. What do you think I should do?
Well to start with we think you’ve had a lucky escape; these priestly marriages rarely work out over time.
As to the future, well it it seems only fair that if he isn’t going to marry you the least your erstwhile fiancé could do would be to recompense you for your thwarted ambitions & broken heart. As a senior member of the clerical hierarchy he has access to significant funds intended for situations just such as those in which you now find yourself (although generally there is a child involved) & you should encourage him to be generous as a way of avoiding any exposure in the media.
Once you have agreed a compensation package (& it may be worth having a brief chat with his ex- to see how much she got) you should take some time to relax & sort out your feelings before seeking any sort of revenge.
Drop us a line when your ready & we’re sure to have any number of creative ways to help you truly put this unhappy episode behind you.