Signs & portents: June 2014 – Aries

21 March – 19 April

MEN

The fates say that you will enjoy June all the more if you try & relax a little, & leave your work where it belongs – back at the abattoir!

WOMEN

June is fraught with peril warn the fates, as your husband, fiancé & other more informal friends, coincidently buy tickets for adjacent seats at your first performance as a stripper at the Blue Parrot.

WIT & WISDOM

Lawyers are not generally vegetarians.

For a better horoscope try a higher-denomination coin next time.

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