Dear Agony Aunts
I have no appreciable talent, no cash, no prospects & frankly very little “get-up-&-go”. My old school’s career advisor suggested that I should hope for a miracle & I failed pretty much every exam I took before leaving to go straight on the dole (where I’ve remained for some 7 years since).
Basically my entire list of assets runs to (i) nice hair, (ii) good teeth & (iii) a decent 38DD bust. Not much to build a life from.
You need to be more positive. With your assets you are virtually assured of a place on a TV reality show & subsequent marriage to a rich, but illiterate, short-arse sportsman. From there a lifetime of celebrity status & your own TV show & syndicated tabloid column & rehab are but a brief step away.
We’d suggest finding a good manager, decent dentist & hairdresser & buying a really good quality bra (although you may find that you have to take it off a lot in the early part of your career).
Go for it.