My husband has left me to go & live with my younger sister in Slough.
Can you suggest something unpleasant & undetectable, or at least something that could not be pinned on yours truly?
We’ve sent you by separate mail a copy of our small e-book “Creative widowhood” along with our ever-popular “Husband exit management strategies” & we are confident that if you spend a quiet evening reading through them (we usually suggest with a glass of decent claret or good quality cognac) you may find one or two ideas that appeal to you.
Some sort of accident in which the lovers come to a fiery end in a “burning love-nest inferno” (as the local press will no doubt insist upon calling the “tragedy”) can offer a great deal of cathartic release. If your “coincidental arrival” can be timed properly it may also result in encounters with the more attractive members of the fire service (it’s never too soon to start thinking about the next Mr Right/victim) & can provide an amusing video record as a warming memory for future years.
One last thought; remember a lady always wears gloves.