Signs & portents: August 2014 – Aquarius

21 January – 19 February

MEN

The fates point out that in August it is not the sheer bad luck that you will suffer that is so interesting, but the enormous number of small furry things that will turn out to really, really dislike you to the point of mounting suicide bombing attacks.

WOMEN

In August, say the fates, you will enjoy poor health, but since you went to all the effort of poisoning the useless bastard anyway, that only seems fair.

WIT & WISDOM

There is always another train, plane or bus – but not necessarily another taxi.

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