Signs & portents: September 2014 – Capricorn

22 December - 20 January

22 December – 20 January


September is not the best time for you to propose, warn the fates, as the object of your affections will be busy summing-up & trying to get the jury to demand the death sentence for you. You could always try the usher & hope for an escape rather than an acquittal.


The fates are not too convinced by your sudden conversion to militant Islam in September, nor by your frankly obvious fake, stuck-on beard.


Never trust a squirrel with a gun.

Some days you just can’t win….


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