Signs & portents: September 2014 – Gemini

21 May - 21 June

21 May – 21 June

MEN

Looking at September as a whole the fates are not able to suggest any way to avoid the oncoming storm that is your mother-in-law’s visit. They suggest trying to adopt a calm manner & a large tot of brandy on her morning cornflakes.

WOMEN

September is going to be your chance to really let people know how unhappy you are with things, say the fates, although obviously your success as a suicide bomber will mean that you won’t get to read the extensive & generally positive press coverage.

WIT & WISDOM

Not everyone can be a winner, & most will not make the quarter-finals.

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