Dear Agony Aunts
I have recently become pregnant as a result of sleeping with an angel, disguised as a bishop, who came to me after a church BBQ & wine-tasting.
Does this mean my son will become Pope?
Unfortunately just because it says “St Michael” in his boxers, it doesn’t actually make him an angel. Likewise being born as the son of a high-ranking church official does not automatically guarantee a senior place in the Curia.
It’s a little late but we suggest you get out more – & perhaps start giving Sunday school & “the bingo” a miss.