Sharing & caring #222

Dear Agony Aunts

I had always hoped to have a family of my own, but as the years went by it became clear that it was just not meant to be.

Over the years I thought I had come to terms with the disappointment & the loneliness but on my release (from the secure wing of the psychiatric unit) last week I decided to make one last effort – & that’s why I’m e-mailing you now.

I have found a lovely woman with two adorable kids & I had hoped that she would feel the same way about me as I did about her; but it was not to be. Even after she stopped screaming & the kids escaped through the cat flap, things did not look up, & she has not spoken to me since. I think she’s pretending to be asleep just to annoy me – even though I’ve cleaned-up all the blood from the kitchen floor, & washed the carving knife thoroughly.

The thing is, the kids have come back with the police & I’m currently holed-up in the kitchen with “Mrs I’m-not-going-to-talk-to-you-until-you-grovel” using her iPhone & trying to keep out of the line-of-sight of the snipers on the neighbour’s roof. Do you think she’ll come round to seeing my better side & help make a future for us together?


Dear “Sweetums”

We don’t think that she is going to come round, period!

In terms of a future together we do think that you have the inklings of an idea here & we’d suggest that you use one of the nicely cleaned knives to join her, or if that does not appeal why not simply stand up & wave it at one of the police marksmen?



Love can get no tougher….


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