Signs & portents: October 2014 – Libra

23 September – 22 October

MEN

In October, say the fates, you will propose to your princess. Unfortunately before she can answer her security guards will have wrestled you to the floor & hurried her off to safety.

WOMEN

If you really must try & finish-off your hostages during October, say the fates, it would probably be better to try something a little quicker than just upping their cholesterol intake by demanding spare ribs from the surrounding police cordon.

WIT & WISDOM

Bad wine can at least make for good conversation.

 

No animals were killed, harmed or even annoyed, in the production of this horoscope.

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