Signs & portents: October 2014 – Libra

23 September – 22 October


In October, say the fates, you will propose to your princess. Unfortunately before she can answer her security guards will have wrestled you to the floor & hurried her off to safety.


If you really must try & finish-off your hostages during October, say the fates, it would probably be better to try something a little quicker than just upping their cholesterol intake by demanding spare ribs from the surrounding police cordon.


Bad wine can at least make for good conversation.


No animals were killed, harmed or even annoyed, in the production of this horoscope.