Some days you just can’t catch a break. (Courtesy of Vimeo)
These were voted the best “one-liners” at this year’s Edinburgh fringe.
1. “I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change” – Ken Cheng
2. “Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There’s no way he could write a book” – Frankie Boyle
3. “I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions. What’s the point?” – Alexei Sayle
4. “I’m looking for the girl next door type. I’m just gonna keep moving house till I find her” – Lew Fitz
5. “I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the ‘brella’. But he hesitated” – Andy Field
6. “Combine Harvesters. And you’ll have a really big restaurant” – Mark Simmons
7. “I’m rubbish with names. It’s not my fault, it’s a condition. There’s a name for it…” – Jimeoin
8. “I have two boys, 5 and 6. We’re no good at naming things in our house” – Ed Byrne
9. “I wasn’t particularly close to my dad before he died… which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine” – Olaf Falafel
10. “Whenever someone says, ‘I don’t believe in coincidences.’ I say, ‘Oh my God, me neither!”‘ – Alasdair Beckett-King
11. “A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men’s singles event” – Angela Barnes
12. “As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer” – Adele Cliff
13. “For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don’t want to do it” – Phil Wang
14. “I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark” – Adam Hess
15. “I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act” – Tim Vine
Fed-up with the grind of taking a bus or bike to work every day on congested streets in Munich, Benjamin David started swimming there instead.
The pleasantly moist beer garden worker now packs his laptop and clothes into a waterproof bag which he puts on his back, dons his wetsuit and slides into the River Isar for his journey.
“It is beautifully refreshing and also the fastest way,” Benjamin David told Reuters Television.
“I used to go by bike or bus or car or on foot and you need much longer. Today the current was quite strong and I only needed about 12 minutes,” he said.
However, in winter the river, which flows near the center of the Bavarian capital, can get chilly, at temperatures of about 4 degrees.
Now there is a man who loves his job, possibly a little too much but nobody can fault his enthusiasm.
“Look, I know, I know. Just try not to look threatening……”
“But there’s only two of us and……”
“Ssshhh…. and just pray none of them can drive”
Lin-Jao was pretty much the “go to” guy for basic maintenance and decorating chores back at the base, but he’d begun to feel like a “fifth wheel” on these mountain training exercises. At least he was doing better than the guys who looked after the camels.
The man who dressed in a rubber suit to play the original Godzilla, crashing through Japanese cities and destroying them with swipes of his massive tail, has died at the age of 88, film company Toho said on Tuesday.
Haruo Nakajima, who donned the cumbersome suit to play the monster who rose from the depths after a hydrogen bomb test in the original 1954 “Godzilla”, died on Monday of pneumonia, a Toho spokesman said.
The first suit weighed 100 kg (220 lb) and was so hard to breathe in that an oxygen tube was attached, Nakajima reminisced in later years. He played the monster in a dozen films in total, running through to 1972.
The first “Godzilla” – his name a combination of “gorira,” the Japanese word for gorilla, and the Japanese word for whale, “kujira” – crashed ashore as a symbol of atomic weapons less than a decade after the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings, as well as of frustrations with the United States, which had just held a hydrogen bomb test at Bikini atoll that irradiated a boat full of Japanese fishermen (something my history lesson seemed to have missed).
The most recent film in the franchise, which has included both Japanese and U.S.-made films, came out from Toho in 2016. (Original report here)