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Supersize me…

bedtime-story

In retrospect Janesh was lucky that the governments “improved literacy” programme coincided with the WWF’s efforts to enhance the relationship between the local population and the few remaining elephants living wild in the bush. In fact the savings from his salary for teaching what he described as “the indigenous illiterate population” and the stipend from the WWF, for what he called “cultural assimilation,” allowed him to buy-up the local land which he turned into a mall with extensive parking and the first in a global chain of “Jumboburger” fast-food franchises. This is the last known photograph of Janesh and one of his students sharing extracts from “The Art of the Deal” before the herd disappeared.

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View from a Rhino House: a big drink problem….

Two elephants have been saved from the chilly Siberian Winter by drinking vodka, Russian officials said this week.

They reported that the animals had to be taken outside into freezing conditions at Novosibirsk after the wooden trailer they were travelling in caught fire.

The elephants, aged 45 & 48, were clearly distressed by both the fire & the extreme change in temperature, almost immediately they began to suffer from frostbite to the tips of their ears in the -40C freezing air.

In true Russian style however, they were warmed up by two cases of vodka mixed with warm water, said a spokesman.

“They started bellowing like they were rutting in the jungle! Perhaps, they were happy,” the official told Russia’s Ria Novosti news agency.

The animals spent the night in the heated garage of a local college where they were brought by a truck under police escort.

It’s not clear whether or not they were able to make use the Student’s Bar during their stay, nor if they required some sort of hangover cure the following morning (in Russia as I recall, this largely involves drinking another bottle of vodka for breakfast).

No real elephants were inebriated in the reporting of this story.

No real elephants were inebriated in the reporting of this story.