Just another day at the office #333

beer delivery

George never usually drank when he was working – and before this morning, he had never forgotten to lock the trailer before he set off….


People with issues #323

A disputed goal at the end of a match in the Greek Superleague between Paok-Salonica and AEK Athens led to a pitch invasion by one of the team owners, who appeared to be carrying a gun.

Fernando Varela scored with a header in the final minute of the game, putting the home team, Paok, ahead 1-0 and on course to close the gap between themselves in third spot and leaders AEK.

The referee signalled a goal but then changed his mind to rule the player offside, after appeals from AEK and referring to one of the linesmen.

Paok’s owner, the businessman Ivan Savvidis, came on the field twice and was accompanied by bodyguards. On the second occasion, without his overcoat , Savvidis appeared to be carrying a pistol (which was in its holster).

AEK officials claimed Savvidis threatened the referee during his first foray onto the pitch, before being pulled away.

The game was suspended and the crowd was told to disperse. Adding to the widespread confusion, there were claims that the referee, Giorgos Kominis, had allowed the goal.

Ivan Savvidis enters the pitch for a second time, carrying what appears to be a pistol.

Shooting from the hip?

The Superleague’s website recorded the match as a 0-0 draw and showed AEK still leading the table on 55 points, with Olympiacos in second on 53 points and Paok still in third on 50.

An official statement was expected from the league. In the meantime this guy would be a great addition to the NFL.


Moments in automotive history #149

1hp fiat

The 1 horse power version of the smaller Fiats proved popular in the Eastern European beach resorts where their low running-costs were welcomed by the local taxi drivers.


Slowly does it

An English pub canceled a charity snail race after the unseasonably icy weather made the potential competitors too slow to compete.

“The cold snap has led to a medical problem with our racing snails – it’s called hibernation,” the Dartmoor Union Inn in southwest England said.

Temperatures across much of Europe are still below normal for the time of year, and British weather forecasters have warned of bitterly cold winds and the return of snow that could disrupt transport and cut off rural communities over the coming week.

The Dartmoor Union Inn said it planned to reschedule what it had billed as “The 1st International Snail Grand National”, in aid of a local air ambulance service, once the weather warms up.snow snails


Oh, the horror….

The Mummy, Fifty Shades Darker and the latest Transformers movie, The Last Knight, are the leading contenders for Hollywood’s annual worst films list, the Golden Raspberry awards – AKA the Razzies.

All three principal actors of the revival of the 1930s monster pic The Mummy have been nominated: Tom Cruise for worst actor, and Russell Crowe and Sofia Boutella for worst supporting actor and actress. The Mummy has seven nominations, including one for worst remake, ripoff or sequel.

Transformers: The Last Knight has nine, however, including worst screen combo. Mark Wahlberg does double duty with worst actor nominations for Transformers and Daddy’s Home 2, while Anthony Hopkins picked up two worst supporting actor nominations. The other major contender is Fifty Shades Darker, with eight nominations, including worst actor and actress for Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson.While The Book of Henry, The Snowman and The Dark Tower were ignored, there was a surprise inclusion for Mother!, which earned Jennifer Lawrence, Javier Bardem and Darren Aronofsky nominations for worst actress, supporting actor and director, respectively.

The awards’ worst screen combo section contains its quirkiest nominations, with the most notable being Johnny Depp for his “worn-out drunk routine”, which gets a nod for what the Razzies refer to as Pirates of the Caribbean XIII: Dead Careers Tell No Tales. Transformers is also referred to throughout as Transformers XVII: Last Knight, despite it being the fifth in the series.

The Razzies will be held on 3 March, the day before the Oscars.

Full list of nominations

Worst picture
The Emoji Movie
Fifty Shades Darker
The Mummy
Transformers XVII: The Last Knight

Worst actress
Katherine Heigl (Unforgettable)
Dakota Johnson (Fifty Shades Darker)
Jennifer Lawrence (Mother!)
Tyler Perry (BOO! 2: A Madea Halloween)
Emma Watson (The Circle)

Worst actor
Tom Cruise (The Mummy)
Johnny Depp (Pirates of the Caribbean XIII: Dead Men Tell No Tales)
Jamie Dornan (Fifty Shades Darker)
Zac Efron (Baywatch)
Mark Wahlberg (Daddy’s Home 2 and Transformers XVII: The Last Knight)

Worst supporting actor
Javier Bardem (Mother! and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales)
Russell Crowe (The Mummy)
Josh Duhamel (Transformers XVII: The Last Knight)
Mel Gibson (Daddy’s Home 2)
Anthony Hopkins (Collide and Transformers XVII: The Last Knight)

Worst supporting actress
Kim Basinger (Fifty Shades Darker)
Sofia Boutella (The Mummy)
Laura Haddock (Transformers XVII: Last Knight)
Goldie Hawn (Snatched)
Susan Sarandon (A Bad Moms Christmas)

Worst screen combo
Any Combination of Two Characters, Two Sex Toys or Two Sexual Positions – Fifty Shades Darker
Any Combination of Two Humans, Two Robots or Two Explosions – Transformers XVII: Last Knight
Any Two Obnoxious Emojis – The Emoji Movie
Johnny Depp and His Worn Out Drunk Routine – Pirates of the Caribbean XIII: Dead Careers Tell No Tales
Tyler Perry and Either the Ratty Old Dress or Worn Out Wig – BOO! 2: A Madea Halloween

Worst remake, ripoff or sequel
BOO! 2: A Madea Halloween
Fifty Shades Darker
The Mummy
Transformers XVII: Last Knight

Worst director
Darren Aronofsky (Mother!)
Michael Bay (Transformers XVII: The Last Knight)
James Foley (Fifty Shades Darker)
Alex Kurtzman (The Mummy)
Anthony (Tony) Leonidis (The Emoji Movie)

I can’t wait…


Technopeon #42

Some days you just can’t catch a break. (Courtesy of Vimeo)



These were voted the best “one-liners” at this year’s Edinburgh fringe.

1. “I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change” – Ken Cheng

2. “Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There’s no way he could write a book” – Frankie Boyle

3. “I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions. What’s the point?” – Alexei Sayle

4. “I’m looking for the girl next door type. I’m just gonna keep moving house till I find her” – Lew Fitz

5. “I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the ‘brella’. But he hesitated” – Andy Field

6. “Combine Harvesters. And you’ll have a really big restaurant” – Mark Simmons

7. “I’m rubbish with names. It’s not my fault, it’s a condition. There’s a name for it…” – Jimeoin

8. “I have two boys, 5 and 6. We’re no good at naming things in our house” – Ed Byrne

9. “I wasn’t particularly close to my dad before he died… which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine” – Olaf Falafel


10. “Whenever someone says, ‘I don’t believe in coincidences.’ I say, ‘Oh my God, me neither!”‘ – Alasdair Beckett-King

11. “A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men’s singles event” – Angela Barnes

12. “As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer” – Adele Cliff

13. “For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don’t want to do it” – Phil Wang

14. “I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark” – Adam Hess

15. “I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act” – Tim Vine