First it was hoarding toilet rolls, now, with no miracle in sight to end Venezuela’s foreign currency problems, Catholic churches are being told to ration wine.
“We’re instructing the priests & bishops to ration the sacramental wine & look for alternatives,” said a Church official.
The Church says the problem arose when the local supplier of the specialty sacramental wine used at Mass had a bad harvest. They turned to importers for help, but the companies told them it was almost impossible to obtain foreign currency to bring the wine into the country because of Venezuela’s strict currency controls.
President Maduro says right-wing opponents & “unscrupulous businessmen” are trying to sabotage the economy & his new administration by hoarding products.
He has rebuked Venezuelans for unnecessary “panic-buying” & has held talks with business leaders to try & ease the situation amid serious world-wide piss-taking over the country’s shortage of toilet paper.
Just to rub a little salt into the government’s wounded pride, a shortage of wheat flour has also hit production of the bread used for communion wafers, Church leaders say.
Meanwhile, the local Catholic Church has given priests permission to use different types of wine for communion.
“In extreme necessity they can use Chilean or Argentine wines of good quality – French, Spanish & Italian too, but they are very expensive,” said an internal church memo.
When they start to serve a 1990 Petrus at communion I shall convert & emigrate immediately (taking a years supply of toilet paper & wheat crackers with me).
ThursdayAgain 
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