Hogging the high road

The Philippine’s capo del capi, Rodrigo Duterte, yesterday spoke of his “sorrow” on having to give-up his motorcycles on becoming president, and offered his thoughts on riding and why it’s not worth owning a Harley. He banged-on (at some considerable length) about touring the Philippines by motorbike and how as a city mayor he used to ride every week on a motorcycle that his security team made him junk after winning the presidency earlier in the year.

Duterte’s pose as an urban cowboy is a major part of his “hard man” image that has endeared him to those millions of Filipinos who haven’t yet lost a family member to his “robust” approach to law enforcement. In spite of his apparent enthusiasm for dishing-out legal proceedings to offenders at the “pointy-end” he boasted of having reached speeds of 180 kph and owning a Yamaha and Honda as well as a Harley Davidson, although he said he was not too happy with the “hog” model as it over-heated. “Throw it in the ditch. It is useless and hot,” he said.

So far, in his presidency, more than 2,500 people have been killed, about three-quarters in police operations, and the rest apparently victims of vigilantes or druglords eliminating rivals.


The new ‘bike for the Drug Squad in down-town Manila, 2017.

I wonder how long before traffic offences start to attract the same level of official approbation.

View from a Rhino House: mousing

The airline Norwegian Air Shuttle, suffering from a host of problems with its decision to become the first European budget airline to fly the profitable long-haul routes, was forced to delay a flight from Oslo to New York by over five hours on Tuesday because of a mouse in the cockpit.

“The pilots discovered a mouse on flight deck,” spokeswoman Charlotte Holmbergh said yesterday evening. “We had to make sure that no cables or wires had been chewed..”

Norwegian has recently had a string of technical troubles with its new Boeing 787 Dreamliners delaying many of its flights & leaving passengers stranded at airports as from Bangkok to Florida.

The airline has in recent weeks managed to improved its reliability, but it runs its Dreamliners 18 hours a day, significantly longer than traditional carriers, so even small delays can cause significant schedule disruptions.

“At least the mouse was caught,” Ms Holmbergh added.

"I don't know why they gave us this job anyway, I just wanted to serve the nuts....."

“I don’t know why they gave us this job anyway, I just wanted to serve the nuts…..”

View from a Rhino House: Better out than in?

A British man who has spent a total of seven years in prison, for wandering around naked in public, lost his legal battle to wear no clothes yesterday as the ECHR (European Court of Human Rights) told him he must respect the rights of others.

Stephen Gough, usually, & predictably, known as “The Naked Rambler” by British tabloid media for his bid to walk the length of the country wearing no more than a hat, a bulky rucksack & an irritatingly smug air of self-righteousness, has a record of around 30 convictions for public order disturbances & other offences.

Gough argued that European laws on “respect for private life & freedom of expression” gave him the right to nudity whenever he chose it. But the Strasbourg-based Court ruled that they did not apply given his “deliberately repetitive antisocial conduct”.

“He had plenty of other ways of expressing his opinions,” it concluded.

People eager to keep their breakfast down will be cheering all over the UK.

Now where did I put the damned car keys?

Now where did I leave the damned car keys?

View from a Rhino House: die laughing

In that bastion of capitalism & good taste (the USA, where else) an enterprising company has just sold-out its entire “Ebola stock”, including the “Small Ebola Doll”( $9.95), the very large “Gigantic Ebola Doll” ($29.95) & the back-to-school “Ebola Petri Dish” ($14.95) according to the company’s website.

“Since its discovery in 1976, Ebola has become the T. Rex of microbes,” says the Stamford, Connecticut-based maker of the “uniquely contagious toys” on its website, which promotes them as gifts that also have an “educational value”.

During the latest Ebola outbreak, which has already killed more than 4,500 people, discerning customers, looking for that special something for the gifting season, have snapped up the toys, which look like an untied pretzel (except for the “Ebola Petri Dish”, which looks like an untied pretzel on a petri dish).

“You do not want to get Ebola,” suggests the website, offering a clear glimpse into the level of healthcare advice under the iniquitous Obamacare dictatorship. “A short incubation period of 2 to 21 days presages symptoms which include fever, aches, sore throat, & weakness, followed by diarrhea, stomach pain, vomiting, & both internal & external bleeding…. & then, for between 50-90% of victims, death.”

Sadly beyond suggesting that you don’t want to catch the disease the advice doesn’t go on to suggest how you might avoid Ebola, but at least if it does arrive you’ll know what it looks like.

"But I wanted a transforming, killer robot....."

“But I wanted a transforming, killer robot…..”