Shellshocked #35

“Gulp!”

“Look, I know, I know. Just try not to look threatening……”

“But there’s only two of us and……”

“Ssshhh…. and just pray none of them can drive”

Shellshocked #34

“Look, I’m I’m just not really convinced that CNN, the FBI  & the CIA are all fronts for the Russian government, OK?”

“Elitist stool pigeon…”

“Actually my mother was a chicken, thank you so very much, now tell me you’re not a racist too…”

Shellshocked #33

– “Justin Beiber did what to his neighbour’s house?”
— “Sorry, it’s just what I heard. The bastard…”

Shellshocked #32

– “Junior’s missing.”
— “Flown-off at last. About time too.”
— “You callous bastard.”

Shellshocked #31

– “What are you going to wear at the Hallowe’en party tonight?”
— “I ‘ve hired an omelette costume.”
— “Aaaaaggghhhhhh…….”

Shellshocked #30

– “Look, all I said was, ‘I’m glad to see Junior starting to come out of his shell a little,’ now pull yourself together”
— “You insensitive bastard, my mother was right about you”

Shellshocked #27: ethics in action

The food of love…..

Shellshocked – Easter #2

– “If the Easter Bunny looks like he’s even thinking about coming over here I’ll scramble his ass so fast he won’t hop straight for a month”
— “Fuckin’ A! I’ve got your back…..”

Shellshocked – Easter #1

– “So then they killed God’s only Son & hid his body in a cave for 3 days. Then He came back to life & managed to escape from the cave, told them to “be good” & went back home to His Dad’s place!”
— “I’m sorry but it sounds like  “The Waltons” meets “The Walking Dead.” Will these people believe anything, however improbable?”

Shellshocked #26

– “Sniffle”
— “Look it can’t have been your dad, it was a capon, you know, a capon, castrated, unable to reproduce, sterile….. & anyway the leftovers made a really great risotto”