View from a Rhino House: bah humbug….

For those romantic souls who wish to shower their loved ones with everything from an arboreal partridge though ten leaping peers of the realm to an annoying cavalcade of (no doubt pre-dawn) drummers, the news on prices looks grim this year. Buying the full set just once will set back cupid’s aficionados $27,393 in 2013; for those wishing to go the whole hog & send the gifts the number of times they are mentioned in the damned song (& there are 364 gifts) the cost is now $114,651 according to PNC Wealth Management.

The company said its sources for calculating the cost of the items included specialist retailers, the US National Aviary, the Philadelphia Dance Company & the Pennsylvania Ballet (so you might get a better deal if you outsource some of the items to Mumbai).

Highlights amongst the gift-fest include 9 ladies dancing at $7,533 (up 20% on 2012) & those irritating 10 lords now run-out at $5,243 (a rise of 10% over last year). The only good news is that the partridge is now down to $184 – representing a drop of 3% since the last yuletide credit card bills arrived.

For those more frugal early-shopper souls who used the Cyber Monday discounts (rather than face the Black Friday queues) the news was also bad; buying just one set of the gifts online in 2013 was $12,300 more expensive than risking frostbite, drowning & mugging by waiting outside the more traditional bricks-&-mortar gladiatorial arenas.

Just as a reminder, in case you’re tempted, this is what you need to buy if you’re feeling romantic (the basic set only).

12 Drummers Drumming

11 Pipers Piping

10 Lords a Leaping

9 Ladies Dancing

8 Maids a Milking

7 Swans a Swimming

6 Geese a Laying

5 Golden Rings

4 Calling Birds

3 French Hens

2 Turtle Doves

& a Partridge in a Pear Tree

There’s a lot to be said for bath salts.

OK Holy Father, we’ve got the crib scene all set-up, now where do you want us to put the pear tree; & the leaping lords asked if there’s any chance of a coffee?