People with issues – the “valentine #7”

Jen’s vanity meant that she never wore her glasses when out on a date.

Signage #21

I guess they really, really mean it this time…..

View from a Rhino House: eternal serenade

Music & video equipment store owner Fredrik Hjelmquist in Sweden, has designed a coffin incorporating a sound-surround system. Fred said his hi-fi coffin will “entertain the dead & provide solace for grieving friends & relatives by making it possible for them to alter the deceased’s playlist online”. (Just a guess, but I don’t think this guy has got his head around the meaning of the word “dead”.)

“We don’t know, right? But then people believe in different ways in different parts of the world,” Fred said to reporters when he was asked whether believers in an afterlife were the target group to buy his coffin.

“In Sweden perhaps many of us don’t believe in it, but in many parts of the world people do,” he said.

He planned to be buried in such a coffin, he added, & would choose opera for his long sleep. He has not sold any of his coffins, but there have been many enquiries, he added.

“We’ve had an unbelievable amount of inquiries, not so much in Sweden, but many from the United States & Canada, also from Taiwan,” he continued.

Imagine an eternity of listening to bad rap or lift music? Somehow Hell does not seem nearly such a bad gig now.

“Oh God no, not White Christmas again….. Have mercy, for pity’s sake.”

View from a Rhino House: sex, death & money

A Polish firm that makes coffins has apparently pissed-off the Catholic church by soliciting for business with a calendar showing “almost naked” female models posing with its caskets.

One image from next years calendar includes a blonde model, wearing only a skimpy thong, with a snake draped around her neck, reclining on top of a coffin. In another, a woman wearing a red basque is tastefully shown pulling out the heart of a man lying on a casket.

Apart from winning publicity for the company, the calendar is intended as a source of revenue. It is on sale on the firm’s website & anyone who places an order receives a complementary key ring in the shape of a coffin. How could anyone hesitate you may ask?

The Catholic church has condemned the calendar as “inappropriate”. A church spokesman has said that human death should be treated with solemnity & not mixed up with sex.

So are they saying that Jesus doesn’t love necrophiles too?

 

It’s OK, we were married…..