View from a Rhino House: cashing-in

In spite of the US government going for a nap this week a man who pieced together the remnants of five $100 bills eaten last winter by his one-eyed dog, has received a $500 cheque from the U.S. Department of the Treasury.

Wayne Klinkel, a graphic designer from Helena, Montana, who works for a local newspaper, said he found Sundance (presumably the dog) had eaten the notes, left in his car while he & his wife were away having lunch, leaving one intact dollar bill & a small piece of a single $100 note.

For the next few days Klinkel followed the dog around in the snow, collecting his droppings in a plastic bag, keeping it frozen in the cold outside his house, & after a couple of weeks he thawed the dog shit in a bucket of soapy water (everyone needs a hobby).

He separated the $100 bill pieces then washed & began to assemble the tiny paper fragments.

He took the taped-together bills to a local bank & the Federal Reserve in Helena where he was directed to the U.S. Department of Treasury’s Mutilated Currency Division, where he mailed the digested bills with a notarized letter on 15th April.

The Treasury Department offers reimbursement in some proven cases of damaged currency, & a standard claim takes up to 2 years to be resolved, according to the department’s (currently furloughed) website.

“When mutilated currency is submitted, a letter should be included stating the estimated value of the currency & an explanation of how the currency became mutilated,” the website says.

On Monday he received a $500 cheque in the post from the Mutilated Currency Division to replace Sundance’s dinner.

A telephone operator with the U.S. Department of Treasury on Thursday said department representatives were furloughed & unavailable for comment on Klinkel’s reimbursement.

It’s a dog’s life (if you’re lucky).

After it’s been through the guts of a dog, it still looks better than after a couple of days hanging around in Congress.

View from a Rhino House: seconds…..

This week the Malian transitional government will give the French President another camel after the one they gave him as thanks for helping repel Islamist & Tuareg rebels was killed & eaten by the family he left it with in Timbuktu.

“As soon as we heard of this, we decided to replace it with a bigger & better-looking camel,” said an official at a press briefing yesterday afternoon.

“The new camel will be sent directly to Paris. It is a shame about what happened to the first camel. It was a present that did not deserve this fate.”

President Hollande was presented with the camel when he visited Mali in February shortly after dispatching French troops to the former colony to help combat Tuareg & al Qaeda-linked fighters moving towards the capital in the south, from bases in the mountainous deserts in the north of the country.

The President joked at the time about using the camel to get around Paris during the daily rush-hour, but in the end he left it with a family in the ancient city on the edge of the Sahara desert.

French leaders have received many gifts of exotic or wild animals from Africa over the years & have sometimes had other problems in hanging-on to them.

Last week, a robber chainsawed a tusk off the skeleton of an elephant presented to Louis XIV by a Portuguese king in 1668. Police caught the robber, as he fled, with the tusk under his arm.

I suspect we shall be soon be seeing a spate of “camel-themed” menus appearing both at a number of pricey Parisian restaurants & at more reasonably priced eateries in Timbuktu.

“…… & with the left-overs you can make a delicious curry or rissoles.”