A homeless man in Boston, Massachusetts, handed-in a backpack stuffed with around $40.000 worth of cash & travelers checks to the police after he found it at a shopping mall, it was reported last night.
“The man could only provide officers with his name & the address of the shelter where he currently lives,” according to the police press release.
The man, identified by police as Glen James, found the bag on Saturday evening at a Mall in the Dorchester area of Boston.
He gave it to police the same evening, who later traced the owner, a Chinese national whose passport was also in the bag (so not exactly a great work of detection there, then). The bag owner’s name has not been released.
James was given a special citation from Boston Police Commissioner Ed Davis on Monday afternoon “for his extraordinary show of character & honesty,” the police department said. (I hope he can spend at a decent restaurant or tailor.)
In a further development the Lord God, Creator of All, was reported to be seriously pissed that his bounty had been, not only rejected, but handed back to a Chinese communist, atheist who had made the cash by dealing in some suspiciously expensive white powder.
“What do I have to do to get through to these people?” He is reported to have said, “Send an earthquake & they are on their knees so fast their trousers almost burst into flames. Give some poor bum a reward for a lifetime of suffering & devotion & they throw it back in Your face. Honestly. I had less trouble with the damned dinosaurs…..”
ThursdayAgain 
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