Dear Agony Aunts
I have worked for some years a a truck driver, & in spite of my gender I have been reasonably successful; I have also managed to overcome a fair degree of discrimination & am now pretty much accepted as “one of the boys”. Therein lies my problem! I think that I may have been a little too successful at integrating as none of my colleagues seem to see me as feminine at all, which has pretty much set the lid on any chance of romance in the workplace.
Recently a new driver has joined the team & I must confess that I find him extremely attractive. I have tried to get to know him better, but he just does not seem interested.
How can I regain my essential femininity far enough to get laid at work without compromising my hard-won equality?
“Butch”
Dear “Butch”
We were at a bit of a loss as to know what to suggest until we looked at the photograph you attached – a bit of a revelation there.
There are a number of really quite simple things you can do to enhance your femininity without compromising your position in a male-dominated profession. We’d suggest starting with a good shave, or even better, a series of electrolysis sessions to remove that rather unpleasant 5 o’clock shadow. After that, the purchase of a good hairpiece to tone-down the aggressive crop will soften your appearance to the point where, after the application of a little mascara, some lippy & a couple of trowels-full of a decent foundation, you will look like a tender goddess; at least under a 40 watt bulb, anyway.
To be honest we’d suggest you just spike his coffee & have your fun with him before he regains consciousness.
Don’t forget to take precautions – we’d recommend gloves, a mask & a good alibi.
Aunts
ThursdayAgain 
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