People with issues #333

snow-machine-bath

In retrospect starting on his self-build project for the new family home in November was probably a mistake, but George wasn’t going to let the weather stop him. His pride in coming-up with a solution to the delay in finishing the family bathroom was short-lived when his wife, after seeing him trialling the “facilities”, took the kids and left for an extended visit with her mother in Florida.

10 Funniest jokes from the Edinburgh fringe 2019

As voted for by the public.

– 1 Olaf Falafel
I keep randomly shouting out ‘Broccoli’ and ‘Cauliflower’ – I think I might have Florets.

– 2 Richard Stott
Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they’re happy.”

– 3 Milton Jones
What’s driving Brexit? From here it looks like it’s probably the Duke of Edinburgh.

– 4 Jake Lambert
A cowboy asked me if I could help himlaughing round up 18 cows. I said, ‘Yes, of course. That’s 20 cows’.

– 5 Ross Smith
A thesaurus is great. There’s no other word for it.

– 6 Ross Smith
Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It’s the reason I get up in the morning.

– 7 Adele Cliff
I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I’m really struggling to get out of it.

– 8 Richard Pulsford
After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging.

– 9 Mark Simmons
To be or not to be a horse rider, that is equestrian.

– 10 Ivo Graham
I’ve got an Eton-themed Advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad’s contacts.

 

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