Caring & sharing #142

Dear Agony Aunts

I’d like to replace my husband by something more modern & a little larger. Cost is no problem (my existing model is well insured) but I’m having trouble finding a suitable candidate.

Where can I find someone hung like a donkey & with a bit of stamina?

“Bonnie”

Dear “Bonnie”

There are any number of web sites providing details of exactly what are looking for, although be warned – most of them are aimed at the gay community.

Generally we’d recommend creating a FaceBook page & listing your requirements there; after that it’s usually just a question of sitting back & choosing from the flood of replies.

Remember to ask for a current photo (& we don’t mean a “head & shoulders” shot).

Aunts

Love can be no tougher.... — Love can be no tougher….

Just another day at the office #159

Lao's plan to sell self-build, kit home door-to-door proved less successful amongst apartment dwellers in the city. — Lao’s plan to sell self-build, kit homes door-to-door proved less successful amongst apartment dwellers in the city.

Just another day at the office #109

Rajiv was enthusiastic about the benefits that "going green" has brought to his taxi business; he had saved a small fortune in fuel costs & insurance charges alone. The only cloud on the horizon was the increased wear-&-tear on the donkey, which was not allowable for tax purposes.... — Rajiv was enthusiastic about the benefits that “going green” has brought to his auto rickshaw business; he had saved a small fortune in fuel costs & insurance charges alone. The only cloud on the horizon was the increased wear-&-tear on the donkey, which was not allowable for tax purposes….

View from a Rhino House: getting away from it all….

In Colombia a gang who tried to burgle a convenience store was forced to abandon the heist when their getaway donkey made too much noise.

The 3 Colombian criminals were forced to ditch the fruit of their labors when, during the 2am theft, the animal started to bray loudly, alerting neighbors & the police.

The group had managed to steal rum, oil, rice, & cans of fish from a small shop in the tiny northern town of Juan de Acosta.

They planned to load the goods onto the donkey,10-year-old Xavi, who they had stolen during the day before, & make their escape – but the animal began to bray loudly before they had finished loading-up.

They had to ditch the donkey, which was carrying most of the stolen items, & ran to safety as the police were arriving.

Shop owner Fabio Orozco said: “They came through the roof to rob me. They took rum, rice, everything.”

The donkey was detained in the town police station for 12 hours until its owner was notified & came to collect him.

I bet this never happens to the drug cartels.