transvestite – ThursdayAgain

Dear Agony Aunts

I have discovered that my husband is a transvestite & he has started wearing my clothes when he is alone on the house. I am more than a little revolted by his “hobby” but I have no job, no savings & no family I could turn to for help or advice.

What should I do?

“Distraught”

Dear “Distraught”

It’s important to keep a sense of perspective at a time like this. Unless he has started chasing young men or intends to start wearing your outfits in public the situation is containable & can even be turned to your advantage. We’d suggest that you use his little secret to perhaps increase the size of your clothing budget, while at the same time insist that he has his own wardrobe (to avoid stretching, unpleasant stains etc;). At the same time make sure that he understands that your continued silence about his unusual tendencies depend on him remaining very private during his “episodes” & a significant increase in the amount spent to meet your own needs.

If he has started going out, or chasing young men, we’d suggest that that you arrange a small but fatal accident for him. Something involving panty hose, electric flex & an orange would seem to be “de rigeur” amongst politicians, but feel free to improvise as the fancy takes you (we’ve sent you our little e-pamphlet “Accidents in the home & how to engineer them” separately).

In any case make sure his Will & any insurance policies are up to date.

Aunts