In principle, encouraging the animals to interact with visiting schoolchildren was a good idea; in practice a certain amount of aberrant behaviour was apparent amongst the zoo animals almost immediately. Additionally some of the schools reported unusual behaviour amongst pupils, with many apparently having developed a taste for grass in favour of their usual school lunches.
Those classes who had been actively involved in observing the lions did not report any unusual behaviour, although a number of supervising teachers seemed to have disappeared on the return journey.
It was reported yesterday that a handful of Londoners in some of the capital’s classiest & most expensive neighbourhoods apparently agreed to give up their eldest child in return for free wi-fi access, during an experiment exploring attitudes & risks in public wi-fi use.
The experiment, which was backed by the law enforcement agency Europol, involved a group of researchers setting up a public wi-fi hotspot in June.
As people connected to the hotspot, the terms & conditions they were asked to sign up to included a “Herod clause” promising free wi-fi if “the recipient agreed to assign their first born child to us for the duration of eternity.” Six less-than-doting sets of parents signed up.
F-Secure, the security firm that sponsored the experiment, has confirmed that it (probably) won’t be enforcing the clause.
“We have yet to enforce our rights under the T&Cs but, as this is an experiment, we will, in any case, be returning the children to their parents,” wrote the company in its report.
“Our legal advisor,” it continues, “points out that, although the contractual terms & conditions are legally binding, the legality of exchanging children in return for “free services,” is questionable – so the clause might not be enforceable in a court of law.”
Somewhere there are some very unhappy parents cancelling their plans for next weekend.
“Hey Julie. I’ve found a great, new, free wi-fi hotspot & solved the baby sitter problem for the weekend……”
The kids were laughing because they enjoyed seeing the king of the beasts get so angry & roar when they banged-on the glass. Tiddles was laughing because he had just noticed that the door-catch wasn’t fastened properly.
My fiancé Michael has just been promoted to Cardinal & will be leaving next week to take up his duties in Rome. He says he will send for me as soon as he is settled & has found us somewhere to live, & that we can be married at last, but that in the meantime I shouldn’t call or write to him. Honestly, it’s just like Dublin all over again (when he became a Bishop)!
I know that Michael loves me & that God has said we are going to be together, but I can’t help but feel a little insecure, what with the twins about to start school & our next little bundle of joy due at any time.
How can I encourage Michael to fetch us over to join him quickly without sounding like a nag or making him even more stressed?
“Mary”
Dear “Mary”
Do not plan on moving to the Eternal City anytime soon.
We don’t think you should worry Michael with the details of your relocation & we suggest a letter direct to the Holy Father should help to move things along. Truthfully we don’t think that Michael’s recent promotion is going to make your life together (or your marriage prospects) any easier but a word to the “Boss” should ensure that at least you & the kids are well provided for financially.
If you have any compromising or “saucy” photos of Michael you should include those with your letter to the Pope; he’s known to have a good sense of humor & it should give him something to chat about with Michael when they are sorting-out arrangements for you & the family.
Jenny was really pissed when she turned around & found that someone had made of with her prize-winning Shih Tzu puppies & the twins baby carriage; & to make things worse the store still didn’t have one of the new “champagne” iPhones in stock.
ThursdayAgain 
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