People with issues #323

A disputed goal at the end of a match in the Greek Superleague between Paok-Salonica and AEK Athens led to a pitch invasion by one of the team owners, who appeared to be carrying a gun.

Fernando Varela scored with a header in the final minute of the game, putting the home team, Paok, ahead 1-0 and on course to close the gap between themselves in third spot and leaders AEK.

The referee signalled a goal but then changed his mind to rule the player offside, after appeals from AEK and referring to one of the linesmen.

Paok’s owner, the businessman Ivan Savvidis, came on the field twice and was accompanied by bodyguards. On the second occasion, without his overcoat , Savvidis appeared to be carrying a pistol (which was in its holster).

AEK officials claimed Savvidis threatened the referee during his first foray onto the pitch, before being pulled away.

The game was suspended and the crowd was told to disperse. Adding to the widespread confusion, there were claims that the referee, Giorgos Kominis, had allowed the goal.

Shooting from the hip?

The Superleague’s website recorded the match as a 0-0 draw and showed AEK still leading the table on 55 points, with Olympiacos in second on 53 points and Paok still in third on 50.

An official statement was expected from the league. In the meantime this guy would be a great addition to the NFL.

Just another day at the office #256

In retrospect giving Pete control of the demolition robot, in spite of his unresolved anger issues & tendency to violence, was a real, really dumb decision….

Caring & sharing #176

Dear  Agony Aunts

I’m afraid that the demon drink raised it’s head over the holidays & in the heat of the moment I may have become a little over-excited & perhaps a teensy-bit aggressive with both hubby & the “in-laws”. Although I’m not usually prone to over-reaction I may have, perhaps, been a bit over-sensitive about the turkey while I was holding a large carving knife – & well, what with one-thing-&-another, I find myself in need of a good solicitor & the sort of psychiatrist prepared to help-out with a sympathetic diagnosis.

Any ideas?

“Marnie”

 

Dear “Marnie”

Not really necessary, old thing. We’ve always found that chanting “PMS, PMS, PMS” repeatedly during an interview under caution, combined with a long & rambling tale covering ritual abuse & alien abduction will usually carry the day.

We suggest that if you really feel that you need outside help that a radical women’s rights group (ideally one with a history of acts of senseless violence against men) is a better & cheaper alternative than either a solicitor or a psychiatrist – as both judges & most jurymen are afraid of them & therefore more likely to be sympathetic.

Aunts

Love can be no tougher….

But is is art? #22

Art, anarchy or incitement? (by Blek le rat)

Advertising #39

Domestic violence & coffee, a marriage made in advertising heaven.

Fantasy anger management

Neither Ronald not Big Bird were popular in downtown Kyoto.

Signage #107

Keeping the Lord’s Day special….

Caring & sharing #133

Dear Agony Aunts

I have recently begun to take classes in unarmed combat & self-defence – I think that in these troubled times it is important that a woman can take care of herself in even the most threatening of situations. After some 6 weeks I am reasonably good at disarming a knife-wielding thug & breaking the arm of a would-be mugger; but things do seem to moving on very slowly.

How long do you think it will take before I can beat my useless, cheating, bastard of a husband into small enough pieces to flush away the evidence.

“Karate Kate”

Dear “Karate Kate”

We think your expectations are, to honest, a little unrealistic. In truth you’re going to have to train long & hard before you can enjoy the sort of levels of performance your talking about, & its concomitant little rewards.

We’d suggest perhaps aiming a little lower to start with, both physically & metaphorically – why not aim at the groin area & at achieving a really good disabling kick, for example?

If you really are set on wreaking a very personal & final revenge on your nearest & dearest, why not switch from unarmed combat to Kendo? Six feet of bamboo can allow you to achieve a great deal in a much shorter time frame, although, as with your current plan, dealing with the Coroner’s enquiry is going to be difficult (& “flushing away” as you put it, is, unfortunately, never a serious problem for even the most jaded of forensic teams).

Aunts

Love can be no tougher….

View from a Rhino House: “it’s a game of 2 halves….”

In soccer match officials often face abuse from angry fans & players, & on rare occasions the attacks can turn violent.

Rarely are the roles reversed, yet Chechen linesman Musa Kadyrov seriously damaged his karma in a Russian fixture on Sunday when he attacked on one of the players.

The incident occurred at the end of a “friendly” Russian league reserve game in Grozny between Amkar Perm & local side Terek when linesman Kadyrov dropped his flag, ran onto the pitch, & attacked defender Ilya Krichmar.

“We weren’t happy with the officiating, ‘words’ had been exchanged but I had never said anything personal about him,” said Krichmar. “I know how sensitive Chechens can be.”

Former FIFA referee Alexei Spirin, who was working as an assessor at Sunday’s match, was left shocked by the episode.

“In all my refereeing career I have never seen anything like it. Kadyrov should not be a game official,” Spirin said.

“He clearly did not even know the rules, & then, even worse, he attacked a player. On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d give him a zero. I’m writing a special report on the incident & he should not be allowed to officiate again.”

Sunday’s incident was the latest in a series of violent attacks on players in Russian soccer.

Krasnodar striker Spartak Gogniyev suffered a broken nose & fractured ribs after being attacked by Terek officials (seems to be a local tradition) at another reserve game in Grozny in November 2011.

Former Montenegro striker Nikola Nikezic lodged a complaint with FIFA & UEFA in 2011 also, saying he had been forced to end his contract with Kuban Krasnodar after being beaten up & threatened with a gun.

Makes the South Americans look positively tame by comparison, & although soccer matches did start 2 wars there, at least the referees didn’t actually start beating the shit out of players from the opposing teams.

“Tell the ref we only bring out the tanks for 1st team games.”

View from a Rhino House: Leading by example

A parking space disagreement between parents at a Johannesburg primary school prize-giving ended in a shooting that left three people injured & one man facing attempted murder charges, SA police reported this morning.

The police report said two mothers were arguing with another child’s father over the parking spot at a primary school in a west Johannesburg suburb before one of them ran off to get help from a relative.

“When the man arrived, the argument rapidly became even more heated,” a mother who witnessed the incident said.

“The gunshots came without warning,” she said. “The man who had just joined the argument suddenly pulled out a gun & went crazy. People were trying to hide. Parents were lying on top of their children.”

Good to know that violence in South Africa ended when apartheid was finally shown the door.

I want your kids finger-painting homework handed-in by Tuesday next…… & get that heap of shit off my goddam parking space now!